It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
