I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize