yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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