Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize