I'm lost and stupid without you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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