FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize