This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
