you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
