a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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