I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
literally had 100 drinks last night.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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