i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
