wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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