she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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