it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
