Got a toothbrush?
Small penises have feelings too.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
