exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
