doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
