Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
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