you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
