sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
