I hate your face
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
