She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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