She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
