i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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