I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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