M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
