dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize