I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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