I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize