I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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