he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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