just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
