it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
