"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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