You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
