I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
