you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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