Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Your penis caused this!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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