Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
