You're so nebulous sometimes
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize