I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
