YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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