You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
