I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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