she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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