"it" just moved
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
