Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
