I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
