I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thank you for not boning my boss.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
