She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
