dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
