Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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