took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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