Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
