I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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