stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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