he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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