i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
