cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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